Change is never easy and challenges arise even when the change is desired and that is where I currently find myself. Coming home was a decision that my husband and I prayed about and felt that the Lord was leading in that direction and has shown us in several ways that we have made the correct choice. That being said, I am now trying to figure out who I am and where do I go from here?
I worked part time all through college and then have had a full time job since then. When asked “What do you do for a living?” I had a response. Now, I am struggling to answer that question. Yes, I am now a house wife and a stay at home mom, but is that it? Not saying that being a wife and mother is not a huge calling, but after having other titles behind my name for so long, this seems a little weird and may take some time to become more comfortable with this new place in my life.
My husband and I are also used to our space, so me being home is bringing about a new challenge even within our marriage. He needs his space to work and I need my space to be me. That sounds a little weird and might even be a negative to some who read this, but for us it is a positive. With me being home, he has been able to spend more time down in his office, rather than sitting at his laptop in the dining room, which has been a positive for him. I thrive on structure and routine and still don’t quite have one figured out at this time, but I know that as the kids get back into school, that this will come.
I am also realizing that I need this season in my life to be productive on several fronts. I would like to be much more involved in the school where my kids attend and be more hands on with my kids in general. Earlier this week, I met with one of the pastors at our church and he challenged me to spend a minimum of thirty minutes every day writing on my blog and posting, even if right now only a small handful of people are reading it. There are several books that others have recommended/ strongly suggested that I read and I hope to make time to do more reading than I have in the past couple of years. Exercise also needs to find its way back into my daily routine.
When I was talking to that pastor, we also discussed the possibility of me leading a Bible study one morning a week at least for a short time and then decide where to go from there. I am hoping to make it to Lifeway at some point soon and look at several different studies and then report which one(s) I am interested in teaching. This would hopefully be a step in the right direction for me and help me build confidence as I move forward in starting a new ministry.
I am also hoping to use this time at home to start building Mirror Mirror Ministries. At this point, I would like to target wives/ mothers as well as female relationships in general. SO…. Given, that I am throwing that out there, if any of your churches are looking for a speaker/ break out leader for a women’s conference/ retreat, feel free to give me a call and I would be thrilled to come and speak about what the Lord has been building inside of me for the past several years.