Before I get into the post, please know this is coming from a self-proclaimed Tomboy. I am happier camping, hiking and swimming out at the lake than I am at a spa or the mall. I am a blue jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes/ flip flops kind of girl. The only truly girly things about me are my love of dance and my slight obsession with all things Vera Bradley.
As I have read through social media here in the past couple of weeks, I have noticed a trend that’s a little disturbing to me. Many of the posts start with “Please don’t call my daughter a princess” or “Please don’t call my daughter beautiful or cute.” There was one article posted about why a mother didn’t want her daughter to be referred to as “Daddy’s Little Princess.” I don’t get it. Mama bear has come out. When did being a girly girl become something so un PC and something we deemed as bad or detrimental to our little girls?
I am the proud mother of a little girl who is 100% girly. She loves all things pink, shiny and sparkly. More than that, she is 100% Daddy’s Little Princess. You know what? I LOVE IT!!! Growing up I was not close to my father. I was never Daddy’s Little Princess or a daddy’s girl. I was often referred to as “The Major’s Daughter.” My siblings and I were more of Daddy’s Little Soldiers than anything else. This isn’t to say he didn’t love us in his own way, but he was never overly affectionate toward us. I LOVE that my husband and my daughter have that special relationship. My heart melts when I watch the two of them together. I pray it continues throughout their lives.
I don’t see this as a negative where my daughter is concerned. Her room is painted pink. Her bedspread is white with Eiffel Towers, pink hearts and little puppies all over it. She has posters and pictures of Paris all over her walls. If you open her closet and dresser, you will find the whole spectrum of pinks. You will find sequins, ruffles, glitter and all sorts of sparkles on her clothes. Her shoes have a pinkish rainbow on them. She has a bow board overflowing with bows. In the the bathroom, you will find a collection of colorful barrettes, hair ties and headbands. Her backpack is pink, with unicorns and rainbows. She is not a fan of sweat, but will slightly tolerate it in gymnastics.
My daughter and I are the same in some areas and then polar opposites in others. When she looks at me and asks to go get a mani or pedi, I don’t always know how to react. I’ve had 2 manis in my life. The first was for my wedding. The 2nd was for one of my best friend’s 40th birthday. It’s not something even close to being on my radar. My daughter is just shy of 9 and has been into fashion design since she was the ripe old age of 5. She has several fashion design books and is constantly drawing dresses and outfits on blank paper she finds. My daughter also has a love of baking. While my husband and I have yet to turn her loose in the kitchen without supervision, she is learning her way around and I love the confidence I see when see gets to help cook and bake. Depending on what day you catch her, she will tell you she either wants to be a fashion designer or open her own bakery when she grows up. Again, I absolutely LOVE this about my daughter.
I don’t see any of the things I have listed above about my daughter things that need to change. I don’t see how, by allowing to nurture these things in her, that we are raising a terrible human being. You see, on top of all of this my daughter is an honor roll student. Did I mention she is a straight A student in math? Yep, another trait she did not inherit from me. I wish my grandfather would have lived to meet her because he would be thrilled to see a grandchild who can crunch numbers like he did. He was CFO of Butler Paper before he retired. My husband also excels in the area of math and business.
My daughter is also kind and generous. I have had several parents tell me how much they appreciate the way my daughter has welcomed their child into the classroom and befriended them to help them feel comfortable in a new setting. My daughter is a child who other children trust. They know my daughter is a loyal friend. My daughter is also generous. When we go shopping for Operation Christmas Child and Gifting Tree, she would buy out Wal-Mart and Target if we would let her. If she knows of other needs, she desires to meet them. You see you can be a princess who loves all things pink and sparkly AND be kind, generous and intelligent. It’s a both/ and, not either/ or.
While this has been a post about little girls, I will throw in that I am a boymom as well. I have 2 little boys who we are training to be true, southern gentleman. My boys are 100% boy. They are rough and tumble and are happier outside playing with their basketballs, footballs and trucks, in the dirt than they are inside coloring. They are the total opposite of my daughter. My boys are being raised to hold doors open for ladies. They are being taught if a gentleman is present, a lady should never have to open her own door. Is the lady capable of opening her own door? Yes. Does that mean she should? No, it doesn’t. I love having sons who love being boys, just as I love having a daughter who embraces being a girly girl with all her heart.
The other part of this is that we have taught my daughter and my sons once they accept Christ as their savior, they not only have an earthly father, but they will have a heavenly Father who also happens to be The King of Kings. This means they will have an eternal, Royal inheritance. My daughter is coming close to making the personal decision to follow Christ. I pray she embraces being a child of The One True King with every fiber of her being and know that she will always and forever be a princess in the eyes of our Lord.
I think we as women have pushed for equality for so long that we have unintentionally sent the message to our daughters, nieces and little girls in our lives that being a girl is something to be ashamed of. By being a girl, especially one who embraces it, that they can’t and/or won’t be respected. Society says “Put your daughters in gender neutral clothes.” “Give your daughter toys that would be traditionally meant for boys.” “Put away the pink, the sparkles and the bling because only then can you earn a place in society.” I will give you an emphatic “NO” to all of this. As long as my daughter wants her pink and her sparkles and I will continue to let her have them. I will not teach her to “tone the girly girl.” I love her the way she is and the way the Lord created her. So please, do tell my daughter she is beautiful. Please tell her she is a princess. Definitely please remind her that she not only has an earthly father who loves her to pieces, she has a Heavenly Father who thought she was to die for.
Again, Princess is NOT a dirty word!!!!!