“Build your porch.” “Build your small group.” “Find the group where you can be completely open, honest and share your stuff.” These are all phrases I have heard more times than I can count in the past year and every time I hear them, it makes me stop and think. I have a pretty tight knit group of friends. If I was honest, I could list those in my inner core and then start moving to outer circles. In a way I have done this, but do I allow myself to be completely mask free when I’m with them, or do I still hold back?
I have 2 sets of friends who make up my inner core. 2 of those friends I have known since my single days. We have walked through the ups and downs of life together. We have seen each other through marriages, births of children and the other things that life has thrown our way. We may not see each other every week, but we don’t have to in order to stay connected. The 2nd group is also 2 ladies I meet with once a week. I have known them about 3 years give or take. While there have definitely been some life hurdles in the time I haven’t known them quite as long. I know that through the good, the bad and the ugly, we all have each others’ backs. The next ring in my circle of friends contains mostly ladies I have known for about 3 years and a dear friend from my seminary days. The next ring would hold friends I have known for a longer period of time, but don’t get to hang out with or get to talk with on a regular basis.
Even though I completely trust all 4 ladies on my porch, I know that there is still a part of me that I hold back. There are parts of my life with which I am an open book. Then there are other parts closed up tighter than Fort Knox. Since I started my blog, I have talked about and encouraged complete and total honesty as well as transparency with those in your inner circle. When I think about me personally, I realize that I have pretty much encouraged a “Do as I say and not as I do” mentality. I have encouraged my readers to be vulnerable, but haven’t been with the ladies on my porch.
In scripture we are encouraged to join with one another and live in community:
“And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
” Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Nowhere in Scripture are we encouraged to live life solo. This means that we share the ups and downs of life with those around us. Again, I encourage you to be careful about who you share certain pieces of information with. Now, go build your porch!