Waiting…

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8 weeks. 8 long and frustrating weeks.

No. I am not a patient person.
No. I have not handled the house buying process with the most patience or grace.
Yes. I am a Type A, anal retentive planner and things have definitely not gone according to plan.

I had no idea what my husband and I were were getting ourselves into when we started this process back in July. Yes, I stated 8 weeks in my first sentence, but that is just dealing with the current house and does not include all that we have been through going on almost 5 months now.

When we started this process back in July, I fully expected to be settled in our new home at this point in the game. If everything had worked out with the first house, we would be settled. When that fell through and we made the offer on the short sale, I guessed that we would be closing and moving right now. When that fell through and we made the offer on the 3rd house, I expected to close and move the first part of November. Our mortgage guy gave us Nov 25th as our closing date. Even though I was not at all happy with that date, I was still able to convince myself that we would still be in and semi settled by Christmas. That didn’t happen either.

I am guessing the Lord is laughing at me. He is laughing at my plans. He wants me to wait and to trust. I struggle with both.

As of this week, we have learned that we have an underwriter who is not a fan of self-employed entertainers, nor spouses who hold a contract position. We have submitted everything just shy of a full genealogy and a DNA sample, which I am honestly waiting for at this point. We have submitted one piece of paper 3 times now and the underwriter still isn’t happy. Instead of closing this past Tues and spending the rest of this week painting and moving things in, we are still waiting for the underwriter to make a decision. We were given a 2nd tentative closing date of Dec 15th, but based on the underwriter, that may be wishful thinking.

I am angry. I am frustrated. I feel defeated and honestly a little hopeless. I am looking at people posting news of their closings and pictures of their new homes on Facebook and yes, I am a little jealous. I am have looked a pictures of families putting up their Christmas trees and children standing in front of those beautiful trees. While I am happy for them, it brings tears to my eyes. My children want their Christmas tree and right now I can’t give it to them and at this point, I don’t know when I can. Christmas traditions and plans are on hold indefinitely.

No, this post is not the most uplifting, but it’s where I am. Yes, I also realize that I have a great deal to be thankful for. I have the most amazing husband, who has gone above and beyond trying to make the deal on the house work for our family. He takes being the head of our home seriously and he works hard to provide for us. I have 3 beautiful and healthy children whom I love and adore. They bring light and life to our family. I have a great group of friends and a church family who loves us and has stood by us in this crazy process.

The past 18 months have been a wild roller coaster and quite frankly, it’s one I am ready to be off of and on solid ground again. The past 18 mos my marriage, my sanity and my faith have been tested. My marriage is stronger than it has ever been before. My sanity, well, only time will tell. My faith is still in tact, but there are times I wonder if God is listening. I know He is still on His throne and that no matter what happens, He is good. There are times when I am thankful that I my brain will keep telling me truth, even when my heart questions it.

Nothing has ever been handed to me on a silver platter. Anything I’ve ever had has been earned through hard work, determination and many times a fight. While my faith and the support of family and friends has kept me going and helped me reach my goals, I am tired of things being a fight. I am ready for easy. I am ready for the tears to stop and the rejoicing to begin and even the boring the start.

I am probably one of the few people who are looking into 2015 and praying for a boring year. I am praying that by some Christmas miracle we get to move into our new home and that next year is boring and mundane. A year of calm would be welcome.

Patience is a virtue and one I have struggled with my entire life. I hate it when I lose my patience. I also know that my grandmother’s words still ring true and that “This too shall pass.” I know that when we walk out on the other side of this, my husband and I will have a major testimony to share and I pray that it will allow us to walk along other couples on this same journey.

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One thought on “Waiting…

  1. I can fully relate on many levels to all of this, and am probably no where near as gracious in my reactions to a lot of the things you mentioned, but there is one thing that one of my professors in college said once, and I absolutely have substituted the word most people use and replace it with his version.. because I believe its completely true.. virtue.. replace virtue with skill.. Patience is a SKILL. Praying for you and all of us!

    Like

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